I had to get tested for Wilson’s disease today. It’s so rare and I’m just assuming I don’t have it until someone tells me otherwise. For those of you who don’t know, it’s where copper builds up in your brain and your liver. Untreated it’s fatal and there’s no cure. There’s treatment though. Apparently I was meant to be tested for it 3 years ago, but I didn’t know about that. Nobody suggested it would be what’s making me sick. If I do have it, I’ll just be relieved to finally have a solid diagnosis. I’m just assuming I don’t. I should get my results back in a few days.
I post my outfits, food, art, weed, and life in general in the most aesthetically pleasing way I can manage at this point in time:
Thank you lovely… :) This was nice to read. I know what you mean about growing from it, and I’m grateful to have had these experiences. While I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, I’m still glad I got to go through it all because it’s made me who I am today. But of course, I still wish I could go back and stop the accident from happening.
Anyway, thanks for such a wonderfully kind message <3
I threw a chair at him once. And punched a hole or two in my bedroom wall. I’m not normally a violent person but he definitely brought out my ugly side. I never actually hurt him mind you, when I did throw the chair at him. Just in case anyone was thinking that.
I’m still not feeling very good about the whole thing, still trying to figure it all out. But I am relieved that he’s out of our lives now. Thank you very much, for such a kind message and for just being a nice person :)
My mum finally broke up with her partner today… He was the one who caused the car accident (for those of you who don’t know, he almost killed my brother in the crash and I’m still dealing with my injuries) 5 years ago. That wasn’t why she broke up with him though. It was because he was a total dick about the whole thing. He would say things like “I’m not going to waste time feeling guilty about it” (even when my brother was still dying) and referring to the near-fatal brain injury as “a little headache”. Then when my injury caused me to become sick and I couldn’t leave my bed, he called me pathetic. He told my mum I was pathetic, he told his friends I was pathetic, he told my counsellor I was pathetic. While I was too sick to leave the house and my brother was acting like a child (because that’s what you do when you have to get part of your brain removed), he would call us useless and disrespectful.
For the past few months we’ve been having group-counselling sessions with a mediator. My mum, her ‘partner’, my brother and me. Just sorting everything out and trying to get closure. At our last meeting, last Friday, he said some really awful things to me. We’ve been asking for financial help from him for a while now, or some kind of compensation, because he’s ruined mine and my brothers lives. I can’t work, it fucked up my education, and I don’t know when I’ll get better. By brother had a severe brain injury for fuck sake, it’s ruined his life more than anyone’s. I can’t even afford the cost of my treatment. But he’s always refused to help us or give us any money, because legally he “has no obligation”. What about moral fucking obligation you heartless bastard? And the whole time the fucking asshole responsible has been prancing around with no regrets. He said the accident wasn’t his fault. He was going three times the speed limit, around a blind corner on a gravel road in the wrong fucking lane. Recently he even said he crossed the centre line on purpose, because he was speeding and that was the safest way to get around the corner.
I managed to get a real answer out of him though. I asked him why he’s never agreed to compensate me or help me pay for my treatment. He said it was because he’s never had a relationship with me. Even though he’s my mum’s partner, lived in my family home, went on holidays with us… I could go on for a while. He’s had plenty of time to get to know me. Most of the stuff he’s said to me has either been fucking rude or just bullying. His favourite thing to say to me was “grow up”, which was a really stupid thing to say to a 12 year old girl.
So my mum finally broke up with him today. She finally realised there is no hope of him ever treating us right, and despite all the good thing’s he’s done, he’s just a narcissistic douche-bag.
Sorry for the long rant. I just need to put this somewhere. I feel so angry. I’ve felt angry ever since I knew I didn’t have to worry about whether or not my brother would survive. As soon as I had room to feel anger, I felt it, and I still feel it. I don’t know how to get rid of this feeling. Maybe if I burned his house down… (Just kidding.) I just wish he could understand what he’s done to us.