I know. It’s ok. I’ve been there. You’re feeling like it’s the only thing in your life that you can control, it’s a release, and once you start it’s hard to stop. It’s a way to get your feelings out and it’s a distraction from everything else. But it doesn’t have to be that way if you don’t want it to. Those scars will stay with you for a long time. I kind of hate my scars because they’ll be there when I have children. It sounds strange but it’s true. My kids will trace their fingers across that scar on my leg and ask me what it was from. What will I tell them? That’s what I think about whenever I feel like I need to cut myself. I think about the future and how those scars will continue to hurt, years after they’ve healed. It reminds me that there is more to life than right now, and your body will be with you for the rest of your life. Next time you feel the urge to cut, think about that. What other ways can you hurt yourself that will give you the same satisfaction, without leaving scars? There isn’t any other way. Not like cutting. So you have to find another way to let your feelings out, another way to distract yourself. Because you will regret making all those scars when you’re older. Get a piece of wood and cut that. That’s something I find that’s helped my addiction. It gets out a lot of anger and it also just satisfies that feeling you get where you just want to cut something. But it won’t hurt you and it won’t leave marks on your body. You can throw away the wood, you don’t have to wear it for the rest of your life. Paint, write, draw, play music anything that will distract you as well as giving you an emotional outlet. If it’s attention that you want, and we don’t like to admit it but sometimes everyone wants some attention and we want to know that some people care. Sometimes we just need someone else to know that we’re hurting. Find a friend or family member you trust and love, and tell them what’s hurting. Maybe you don’t even need to say anything, just cry. If they love you and care about you, they’ll be there for you and they’ll want you to be happy. Avoid things that might trigger you. If you follow blogs that post pictures of self inflicted cutting and stuff, just unfollow them. I find that whenever I happen to see any photos like that, it makes me want to cut. So I avoid looking at them. It’s really hard to stop cutting, and sometimes you might slip up. But after a while the feelings don’t come as often and you learn new ways to deal with your problems. Maybe you need to talk to a psychotherapist or counsellor. I have the feeling that you want to stop cutting, which is why I’ve replied like this. Usually when I get messages from people telling me that they cut or they feel suicidal, they’ve decided to make some kind of process to recover, either consciously or subconsciously, because they’ve told someone, admitted it, and thats the first step.
You can do anything you put your mind to. I care about you and I’m here for you, and I’m not the only one. You’re stronger than you think. Stay safe, and just take little steps to build a better life for yourself. Because being stuck in a world of depression, self hatred and self harm is no way to live. You can be happy, successful, and you can get out there and do everything or anything. There is a bright future ahead of you, you just need to want it. That’s all.